im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
