Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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