He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All I want is dick and wine.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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