I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
