sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
