Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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