idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
