im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
