I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
