I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
