I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
