Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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