After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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