You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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