Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
