After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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