guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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