Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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