Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
