it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
