So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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