I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
