then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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