as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
