haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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