She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
