it wasn't lemon gatorade
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
