i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Come share oat with me in your robe
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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