haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
