Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
