I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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