Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
