It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
