i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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