If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
