I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
