I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
