But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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