I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
