I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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