Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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