Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I won the penis lottery.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
