Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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