the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
