Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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