ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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