Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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