dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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