nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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