can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
