i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
